Part 1 Mom caught holding hands with affair partner in public

Hello everyone, please don’t forget to like and subscribe, please support the channel on Patreon, the link to my Patreon is on the description below. Today we have a Cheaters and Simps story with some reader comments. without further ado, let’s get into it.

Me and my wife are both 49 years old, we live in south America so English is not my first language. I was searching online for a place to vent my frustration, especially with people that have been through the same thing that I am currently going through. I just found out that my wife of 28 years was cheating of me with a 24-year-old. I wonder how often this happens because, if my neighbor hadn’t confided in me, I wouldn’t have known, and she would continue the affair till this day.

We have a 19-year-old boy and 21-year-old girl, they both are in college and not living with us. We live in an affluent area. I don’t consider myself wealthy, but I came from money, I have a modest job and so is my wife. she works as a manager for a textile company and has some people reporting under her, most of them are in their 20s.

Two weeks ago, I had the rug swept from underneath me. It was Friday, I just pull into my driveway coming back from work, when my next-door neighbor walked up to me and told me that he would like to invite me to his house to watch a soccer game tomorrow, and there was something important he wanted to share with me. I thought that was strange considering that me and him weren’t particularly close friend, I mean, we have hanged out a couple of times during neighborhood events, and we have always said hello to each other, and have small talk when we cross path. He is about my age, but his kids are much younger than mine.

He is one of those weird guys that jugs around every morning like they are training for a marathon, me and my wife use to make fun of him because he has an outfit for everything, one minute is running with matching outfits and the next day, he is fully kitted on his cyclist outfit exercising like he is training for tour de France. I was anxious because I didn’t know what he had in mind. I assume that he is trying to sale me something because I know he is in sales, or maybe some investment he wanted me on. so, the following day was a Saturday, I normally have nothing to do in the evenings besides exercising when I am motivated. So, I decided to take up on my neighbor’s offer, he welcomed me to his home, the game was a European premier league which I normally don’t follow. I Sat on his couch, he already has a beer ready for me, it was just me and him.

His wife and kids weren’t home. few minutes into the game, he changed the topic and told me that he wanted to tell me something that might offend me, but he felt like as a man he had to tell me. I was thinking, well here comes the pitch, then he shows me multiple shocking photographs on his phone, the pictures were of my wife and a young man holding hands in a shopping mall. He showed me five pictures from different angles, he told me that he took the photographs three weeks ago while he was shopping with his kids, at first, he didn’t want to share it with me, 1. because we are not close 2. he felt like it was none of his business 3. he didn’t know the nature of my relationship with my wife.

However, overtime he felt the need to tell me, and finds it hard to greet me every time he sees me knowing that my wife may be having an affair with another man. At first, I felt a range of emotion, I felt really confused, ashamed and then angry toward my neighbor because I thought he was pulling a prank on me, but he was dead serious, and the pictures was clearly my wife. I must have stared at the pictures for minutes trying to find an explanation to defend myself from this embarrassment, as if to maintain the frame of macho in front of my neighbor, but the mask came off, I couldn’t control myself, the evidence was clear, my wife is having an affair with a younger man. I didn’t want to believe it. I thought that there must have been some misunderstanding. 

I didn’t pick up on any signs that my wife could have possibly been cheating (this word doesn’t feel like enough) on me. but the evidence is clear. I broke down and cried in front of my neighbor, in my neighbor’s house. He tried to console me by saying that he had been through the same thing as well, and I sobbed like a baby in front of him, it was so embarrassing looking back. I was still in my neighbor’s house when my wife came back home, I wasn’t sure where she went that Saturday evening, but I remember she told me earlier that she went out to see some friends. Which I now know was a lie.

my neighbor forwarded me the incriminating pictures to my phone, when I was about to leave his house, he insisted that he will follow me to my house to make sure I don’t do anything that I would regret, much to my objection, but he followed me anyway, looking back he wanted to make sure that I didn’t do anything to harm her because he saw that I was full of rage. I walked out of the neighbor’s house with him behind me, I wasn’t really concerned about him following me at that point because I was in such a hurry to confront my wife. 

she was in the kitchen when I came through the garage door, I called her name and showing her the pictures on my phone I asked her who the man is that she is holding hands with, she looked shocked, staring back and forth at me, and the neighbor behind me asking what was going on, I told her to answer the effing question. I have never been violent towards my wife, but I am not sure it didn’t come across my mind at that point. She couldn’t deny the pictures, how could she, it was clearly her. I had the phone two inches from her face and repeatedly ask her who she was holding hands with, I must have been really imposing because my neighbor tried to hold me back, after some hesitation she tried to explain herself, she said it was a 24-year-old direct report that is working for her. she told me how she was sorry for everything. I didn’t want to hear it. I told her to pack a bag and to get out of my house.

That was a few days ago, I haven’t seen her since that day, though my neighbor comes around every once in a while, to check on me, I am an introvert and a private person and at first, I didn’t appreciate his interference, but without him I would have been clueless and my wayward wife would have continued the affair till this day, and for that, words can’t explain how much I appreciate him. I prefer not to have many friends, but I have a therapist that share I personal things with. Our children still don’t know anything. I still haven’t gone to my therapist. I only leave the house to go to work. I haven’t had a proper meal or a good night’s rest in two weeks. I spend most of my day drinking and crying.

What do I do? Do I ask for a divorce? Do I try to save my marriage? Do I reach out to my wife?

It is still hurting more than anything I’ve ever felt, but it helps to know that there are people here who went through the same thing. I know that I shouldn’t be drinking, but sometimes it feels like it’s the only way to numb the pain.

My wife texts and calls me almost every day at the same time, but I have yet to pick up my phone to listen or read what she has to say. I’m not sure if I’m ready to hear her side of the story. She is currently staying at her parents’ house.

Our children live in another state. I haven’t heard from them since before I found out about the affair and apparently my wife hasn’t reached out to them either.

I have called my family and told them what has happened. My neighbor invited me for a run one this morning and it helps relieve the stress, I see him like a friend now, so much familiarity between us like I have known him for years. I’m also going to see my therapist tomorrow.

I have been jogging with my neighbor as much as I could, he doesn’t talk about my wife during the run, he is really helping me get my mind off of thinking about it. but it’s hard not to, mostly because I just feel so conflicted. Part of me wants to try and reconcile, but I’m not sure if my wife is even the same person I married anymore.

It still feels so surreal. I never thought I’d have to contact an attorney, or that I’d have to worry about STDs from my wife.

I thought I’d post a little update on where I am this morning. I told my family what happened the morning after I found out. My parents are heartbroken.

I read through the texts that my wife has been sending me since D-day. They are all her proclaiming her love for me, saying how sorry she is for what she’s done, begging me to take her back. I’m still not sure what to make of all of it. If she really does mean all of that, why did she go and betray me the way she did?

My children still don’t know, but they are both done with college for this semester and should be home in a few days. I’m still not sure of how I should break the news to them.

I have an appointment with my therapist today and I am going to schedule a doctor’s appointment and talk to a divorce lawyer. I’m not sure that a divorce is what I want, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to have that covered for the future.

Got back from my appointment with my therapist. Things are still confusing, but he and this community have pointed me in the direction that I should take now.

My therapist doesn’t have experience dealing with adultery trauma, but he has indicated me one that does. I’ll schedule an appointment with them, He has given me some advice on the next few steps. He told me to drop the drink and to start exercising. He also told me to take my time in confronting my Wayward wife in person, that I need to make sure I’m ready to be in the same environment as she is.

Now, to address some questions that I have received. My Wayward wife’s Affair Partner is not married. He started working with her last year. He is 24, barely older than our daughter. My neighbor caught them holding hands one day when they were at the mall and took some pictures.

This morning, I sent her a text, telling some things that I expected from her. I told her that I’m still not sure of what course of action I want to take, but that there are some things I expect if reconciliation is to even be a possibility. I told her that we both need to be tested for STDs, that she is to break up and stop all contact with AP and that she needs to tell me everything that they did together. I still haven’t heard back from her. Right now, I’m considering whether or not I should go confront my wife to hear what she has to say. She has been staying at her parents’ house.

My wife has replied to me after I sent her text making all of those demands, the written timeline, access to all her devices and social media, having no contact with her Affair Partner, the STD screening and her quitting her job. She has agreed to everything, I still plan on seeing a few attorneys, just in case.

Her parents already know. They learned about it the same day that I did. She is staying at their place.

What I’m not sure about is confirming her written timeline with a polygraph test. I’ve always heard those things are incredibly unreliable and I wouldn’t even know where to look for one where I live.

Yesterday was the first day since D-day that I saw my wife in person. After I got home from work, my brother and I went to her parents’ house where she is still staying. It wasn’t easy being around her, but after listening to this community’s advice, I figured that there were some things that needed to be said and established in person, rather than through text and phone calls.

The first thing that she did when she saw me was break into tears and try to hug me. I put a stop to that and told her that touching her was the last thing I want right now. She looked hurt. She kept telling me how much she regrets her “mistake”, how much she loves me and that things with her Affair partner were “just sex”. I called her out on her BS and told her that I wasn’t there to hear her excuses. I told her I’m going to see a divorce attorney next week so that I know what my options are. I then reiterated all the steps I want her to do if I am to consider Reconciliation with her. I had her send a No Contact text to her Affair Partner right there in front of me and tell me all of her social media passwords. She also handed her phone over to me and allowed me to take screenshots of all texts she’s sent her Affair Partner and allowed me to take it home to check for deleted messages.

It wasn’t easy being around her. Every time she opened her mouth to say something I wanted to yell at her.

Now, as for what I am doing about my healing. I have dropped the drinking and started exercising. My neighbor and I go out running in the morning. I have been reading as much as I can get my hands on. Food is still unappealing, but I have started to eat more than what I was eating last week.

She has already quit her job, she showed me her letter of resignation and I called her workplace to make sure she was telling the truth. She’ll still have to work there for a month.

Just a quick update. My Wayward wife has dropped by and given me her written timeline of events since the day she met her AP. I haven’t had the time to read through it in full detail, I’ve just skimmed it for now. I’m honestly having to build up the courage to read what she has written. Just reading through the first couple of pages filled my head with these images of them together.

I did find a place where we can get the polygraph test done relatively nearby. I’m going to set a date for us both to go and confront her with the timeline. Should I let her come back to the house if she passes the test? I’m thinking that if she does, I’ll allow her to come back, but not sleep in the same room as me. I’d still give it a few months to see what I want to do and what she does that might make me think reconciliation is viable.

I’ve gone through her phone messages and social media, which also wasn’t easy and made me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve seen that she also sent a No Contact message to her Affair Partner on D-day in addition to the one that I had her send yesterday, so I guess yesterday I was only having her reinforce that. I also used a few programs to check for deleted messages. Didn’t find any, but I’m not tech savvy, so I’m going to ask her if she did delete any when we do the polygraph test.

Me and my wayward wife got tested for STDs and we passed.

Right now, I feel like an emotional pinball bouncing from one emotion to the next. One minute I’m a sobbing mess, the next I’m shaking with rage and then I’m going on about my day as if nothing happened.

If I don’t have anything to occupy myself with, my head gets filled with these images of them being together. “An empty mind is the devil’s workshop”

Reader Comment: Unless you feel she is being deceitful

Original Poster: The thing is, if you had me asked that a month ago, I would have said that my wife could never lie to me. But obviously a month ago she was having her affair and, as has been pointed out to me many times since I’ve found this forum and on the resources that I have found, cheaters lie. I used to be able to trust everything she said without question, now I’m not so sure.

I have been reading through the timeline. It’s been rough. I told her that she needed to tell me everything, what she was feeling, how they would flirt, the first time they kissed, what they did when they were together. She didn’t hold back on the details. I’ve had to take breaks every few minutes. I’ve only made halfway through what she has written and there is still so much…

my wife has told them the reason why she’s quitting. Apparently, he’s lost his job.

As of today, I am three weeks out from D-day. I have spoken to a few divorce attorneys and now I know what my options are in case I want to follow a divorce route.

Here in my country if adultery is the reason for a divorce, the adulterous spouse loses the right to alimony, so that shouldn’t prove to be too big of an issue. I don’t know how it works in other parts of the world, but here there are different ways that a couple’s assets could be split depending on how they got married. My wife and I were married under “full separation of goods”. That means that everything we own is owned either by me or her, so if we do get divorced, we’ll already know what each person gets. The house is registered in my name, so she wouldn’t get that.

There are a few different ways on how the divorce could happen and depending on how my Wayward wife reacts to it, it could take from a week to two years.

In addition to a divorce, I could also sue my Wayward wife and her Affair Partner for moral damages.

I’m still not sure if that’s the route I want to take, but at least now I know my options.

As for everything else that has been going on, my daughter is coming home today. She still doesn’t know about her mother’s affair, but I have already texted her and warned her that her mother is staying at her grandparents’ house. I told her that something happened and that I wanted to tell her what it is in person.

The last two days have been the hardest since D-day. Both my daughter and my son now know about their mother’s affair. My daughter was the first to come home from college. She told me that she tried contacting her mother, but apparently, she wouldn’t tell her anything other than that she “did something horrible.”

I sat down with my daughter when she arrived and explained to her everything that I knew, how her mother had an affair with a subordinate young enough to be her son and how our neighbor capture her on camera holding hands with the Affair partner. She was as shocked as I was the day that i found out. We held each other and cried together. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I said that I didn’t know yet. I told her I have spoken with a divorce attorney, but that I’m still trying to figure out what to do next.

My son came home yesterday, and I think he took it harder than his sister. I sat down with him and explained everything the same way that I did with his sister. He blew up. He started screaming and calling his mother names. That hurt more than I thought it would. I don’t want my children to lose their mother, even after what she has done. I told him that he has every right to be angry with her, but that I don’t want him referring to her that way ever again.

As of today, they are both staying home with me and helping me out around the house. My wife has tried to contact them, but they have ignored her calls and she hasn’t insisted on it.

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