Part 2 Son hostile towards mom, refuses to forgive her cheating.

Hello everyone, please don’t forget to like and subscribe, please support the channel on Patreon, the link to my Patreon is on the description below. Today we have a Cheaters and Simps story with some reader comments. without further ado, let’s get into it.

I want my family back.

The past month has been by far the worst of my life, and I have found some amazing support here.

I have been going out every morning before work to jog through my neighborhood. I have started to eat full meals again and going to my new therapist. I miss my old therapist and the relation that I had built with him, but so far, my new therapist has been a tremendous help in navigating through these emotions.

My daughter went to see her mother. She is still angry with her, but she says that she doesn’t want to cut contact with her.

My son has been hurt the most, I think. He thinks I’m an idiot for not having filed for divorce yet, says that he doesn’t want anything to do with his mother and that he’ll “be happy if she dies”. I told him not to call her names even though she has done a terrible thing, she is still his mom, but he keeps saying that my therapist is “filling my head with junk” and that “a real man would have divorced her already”. I don’t recognize him at all, it’s hard to accept that all this new behavior is just from the shock of the discovery and that it wasn’t there already, but I truly never thought that my son would turn into this kind of man.

My son is now legally an adult. I cannot make him do anything, but I am going to encourage him to seek individual counseling along with me and his sister and I am going to put my foot down when I feel that he is being disrespectful to me or to his mom.

Tomorrow I’ll go and see her and have her read the timeline she has written in front of me. I also have a polygraph test scheduled for next Saturday. I’m still weighing my options and I think these next two steps can help me make a decision.

In her timeline she describes how he has given her attention and how she found it thrilling. I haven’t yet had a proper discussion with my wife to learn exactly what was going through her head besides what she has written down, but if I take her at her word, her Affair Partner made her feel young and having an illicit affair excited her.

Reader Comment: How did it go seeing your Wayward Wife and having her read the timeline to you?

Original Poster: It was tough. Seeing her wasn’t the hardest part. I have seen her a few times since D-day. What was tough was sitting through her reading the timeline. There were times where I was crying, other that I was shaking with rage. I had to tell her to stop a few times because it was becoming too much, and I needed a few minutes to process. She cried through the whole thing, but I’m not sure how honest those tears were. She didn’t protest or try to skip anything. She read through the whole thing. Whenever I asked for more details, she would give them to me. It took us about four hours to get through the it.

By the end I was emotionally exhausted, and it looked like she was too. I told her that we will go through these questions again when we do the polygraph test. Again, she didn’t protest.

It looks like she’s being sincere, but I don’t know whether I believe her or not.

I am still going to therapy and going out running every morning. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the images and dark thoughts from overwhelming me, but I am in a much better place now than I was the days after D-day.

I am still very much on the fence about what I want to do going forward. My wife has started to see a therapist and we are doing the polygraph test tomorrow, so maybe I’ll be able to make my decision then.

I’ve written down a few questions that I want to ask her tomorrow, questions like.

Have you been completely honest with me since I’ve found out about your affair?

Is the timeline you’ve written a complete and truthful retelling of events?

Have you had any other affairs in the years we’ve been married?

Did you delete any emails or messages on your phone and social media between you and your AP that I haven’t seen?

Update: I picked up my wife from her parents’ house on Saturday. We didn’t talk much on the ride, but I could tell that she was uncomfortable just by her body language. When we got there and were told to wait for the examiner, she asked me if I was sure this was something I wanted to do. I said yes. She was hooked up to the machine for about twenty minutes and answered “no” to every question that I had. I then drove her home and dropped her off at her parents’ again. We didn’t talk much on the way home either. I was just too tired to revisit what we had already talked about regarding her timeline. She did ask me what I wanted to do. I was honest and told her that I didn’t know yet.

The results arrived on Monday. Apparently, she was being truthful. I thought that this would help me decide, but I’m still at a loss. I still don’t know whether to give our marriage a chance, or if I should just go ahead and divorce her. I want our old life, but she hurt me so much.

Reader Comment: Is your wife in therapy with an infidelity specialist yet?

Original Poster: She is going to therapy. Our daughter went to see her a couple of times and she has gone to see her therapist. I don’t know if they specialize in infidelity.

Reader Comment: Is that safe to assume?

Original Poster: Yes. I apologize for the mix up. She did indeed answer “yes” to the first two questions.

My son is lashing out at his mom, he is really taking this hard, and it worries me. he is upset with me for not divorcing his mom, its reaction is really offhanded specially since he was close to him before this, I don’t know if infidelity has impacted him in his personally relationship, or maybe culturally or environmental factors. Every time I tried to talk to him about his reaction, he has stonewalled me. He refuses to listen to me, to talk to me about what he’s feeling and to go to therapy to address his pain.

Reader Comment: Truth be told, he sees your inability to act as a weakness. Perhaps he expects you to react as a man who does not tolerate his wife being used as a toy by a younger buck!

The truth is this young stud got to enjoy your wife and did not have to put up the baggage that comes with a marriage after so many years. Knowing what I know about affairs, you could say he probably got to have his way with her… Your son is looking to see his dad take decisive action. simple as that!

Original Poster: I’d say having my wife leave the home and contacting a divorce attorney was decisive action. What comes next is not his decision to make. I will eventually make that decision. He’s not the one that decides what is the best course of action that I have to take for my life. I am the only person that can decide what’s the best course of action going forward.

Reader Comment: But a half-hour on a park bench with a cup of coffee just to see what, if any, progress is being made might help you clarify your thoughts.

Original Poster: I think I can do that, Thank you for the suggestion. It’s been almost a month since my last update here and things are not going well for my relationship, she has done everything that I ask, but I can’t get the thought of her deceiving me and spreading her legs for another man, part of me want reconciliation but part of me knows that I will never get over her infidelity. I took a readers advice and started having a weekly meeting with her, mostly in public places like parks and restaurants. 

Both my kids have now returned to college and are no longer in the house. My daughter is trying to work on her relationship with her mother while my son wants nothing to do with her.

I met with my wife every week to see what progress she’s making on her own. She is still going to therapy to try and find out why she did what she did. She claims that she doesn’t know why, but I’m not sure that I buy that. She did spend 9 months having an affair. That’s a lot of time doing something you’re not sure why you’re doing it. What did come as a pleasant surprise is that apparently her therapist recommended that she read Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass. We did discuss the book some and she seems to be making progress, but we’ll see how that goes.

She did quit her job and her AP lost his when she told them the reason as to why she was quitting. I have checked her phone and her email a few times. Her AP is still blocked and the last messages she has sent him were no contact messages. Every time we met up this last month to discuss what has happened and what she’s doing now she has told me that she is indeed remorseful, but I can’t help but think that she was only remorseful that she got caught. she said that she is going to individual counseling to try and find out why she allowed herself to have an affair, and she also cut contact with former friends that were apparently enabling her behavior, which is another story in of its own. She’s also told me that I can come to her if I feel like I need to vent or ask her something.

There were a few times during our conversations when I became triggered and snapped at her. At first, I think she was shocked to see me like that and the first few times she tried to walk back on the statements that triggered me, but now when it happens, she just listens and allows me to vent.

We were talking about why she had an affair and what her feelings about it were while she was having it. She said that during the affair she kept justifying it as getting the intimacy she wasn’t getting at home. Now she says that she realizes that she was doing it because she wasn’t the one putting in the work at home.

In the months prior to her affair, she had started focusing on her job and what little free time she had was spent with friends, which left little time for her to spend with me.

She says that she was so self-absorbed during that time that she perceived the drop in intimacy between us as something that was my fault. She apologized and said that she knows how wrong that was, that she takes full responsibility for her choices. She also said that even if it had indeed been my fault, she should have said something before looking for gratification outside of our marriage.

Not sure how I should take all of that. I guess I just wanted to share it with other people for now.

Reader Comment: Did she explain why it was that she was prepared to be in a marriage with you that was devoid of intimacy, as that is something that most spouses are not prepared to accept?

Or how about how she was able to feel no guilt while she was conducting her affair?

Has she told you why exactly the vows you made when you got married meant so little to her?

Original Poster: She says that it didn’t just happen one day. Rather, it was a buildup of frustration over several months of frustration.

Apparently, she had been aware of her Affair Partner’s sexual attraction to her for months. He had in the past made flirtatious comments towards her and with all that frustration, she eventually started reciprocating them.

She says that in the beginning she rationalized it by saying that it was “just flirting” and that it wouldn’t move beyond that. Then when it did go beyond that she did feel guilty, but she rationalized it by saying that she was getting the fulfillment she wasn’t getting from me and that I should have realized something was wrong when we started having sex less frequently without her having to tell me anything. According to her, during that time she thought that I was to blame for her frustration, so she became bitter.

She told me that she realizes how twisted those rationalizations were and that she was being selfish and lazy by not voicing her concerns earlier.

She has told me on more than one occasion that if I need someone to talk to, that I can come to her. I have sat down with her more than once and told her how I felt when I found out about the affair, what the two months away from her were like and what I think about any future with her. Each time she has sat down and patiently listened to me before apologizing at the end.

I’m not really sure if there was much more that she could be doing that I would be receptive to right now. The weekly meeting, we have been having only proves that I will never get past it. but we plan on continuing to see if time heal all wound. My problem is that I find it hard to trust her, and it is really difficult to fall asleep knowing that my wife sleeping next to me, took me for a fool and lied to me for 9 months. I guess I am still holding on because I have nostalgia on how my family once was, and I want to at least be sure that at least i gave reconciliation a chance.

Reader Comment: That she got attention from an attractive young man and decided that her horniness was more important than her marriage vows

Original Poster: Funny. Those were almost the exact same words that she used when she described the thought process that led her to cheating.

I think I’m doing a poor job of describing the conversation that we had. I have a bad habit of being economic on details when writing things that upset me or that have too many of them. Of course, I can only write about what she told me. She can still be lying of course.

She recognizes that her choice to cheat was hers alone. What she described as a lack of sexual connection was a situation that she herself caused. She was hanging out with friends and spending a lot of time at work. The lack of sex, which she used to justify her affair was caused by her not spending much time at home. She realizes that it was stupid of her to blame me for the decrease in sex when she wasn’t spending time with me. Her words, not mine.

Reader Comment: Did she really say that, while she was conducting her affair and was rejecting your advances, she felt bitter towards you because you didn’t notice the frequency of sex decreased?

Original Poster: No. She said that she felt bitter before the affair.

Reader Comment: I’m wondering what she says to you, if anything, about how she imagines you were Feeling when you discover her affair or how it felt for you while she was apart. Can she express to you that she feels the pain that she inflicted upon you?

Original Poster: She has actually tried to initiate a conversation like that. She began by telling me how it broke her heart to see my reaction to her reading the timeline, and that whatever pain she felt while we were apart must not have compared to the pain that I must have been feeling.

I shut that conversation down before it went any further. I did not want to talk about what I was feeling.

Reader Comment: She knew she could sleep with you whenever she wanted. You were initiating. There was nothing lacking.

Original Poster: Again, I feel like I’m not doing a good job of explaining things. She knows that there was nothing lacking on my end. It is what she used at the time to justify her affair to herself. She knows that her decision to cheat was her failing alone.

Reader Comment: She is trying to say that her emotions, which are not objective or falsifiable, are the reasons for her affair. I call BS.

Original Poster: I’m not sure I understand this statement. Why else would she cheat if not for her feelings?

Update: It’s been three months since the affair, and she is still living with her parents. I am still running with my neighbor in the mornings and eating healthy. I feel good mentally and physically, better than I was before D-day. I have also been reading a lot of self-improvement books and other materials that would help me come to a final decision about my marriage. She recently found another job at a company not too far from the house we use to share together, I guess she is expecting to move back in soon because our weekly meeting have been going well to her, but not me. We have been having weekly meetings on several locations, like Parks, and restaurants.

she has done everything that I asked her to do, sometimes I feel like I am giving her false hope, but I am really trying to build trust in her, but it has become more difficult than I anticipated. I have been struggling with forgiving her and I thought that it would get better over time.

Yesterday was our last meeting but she wasn’t aware of it until I broke the news to her. I knew before the meeting that I couldn’t go on like this anymore. I wanted to free myself from constantly being reminded that she may cheat on me again if I let her in, she broke my trust and confidence in her and no matter how many meetings we have I don’t believe that I can get over that. I felt like our relationship has run its course. We meet at a secluded park because I knew that she would cry and try to beg for me to change my mind and may cause a scene, and I wouldn’t want people staring at us.

I am emotionally exhausted and can’t continue having this meeting. After breaking the news to her, she started crying as expected, she began to cry and beg me. I told her how difficult it was for me to make this decision and I have tried to trust her despite all she has done to gain my trust back, but one minute when I am by myself, I will be fine, and the next minute I will be swearing at her for deceiving me for 9 months. I told her that for the sake of my and her sanity we need to part ways, I will maintain a friendly relationship with her because she is the mother of my children, but I can’t trust her or let her into my bed again. I told her that our focus should be about rebuilding the relationship between her and my son because I want my children to have a good relationship with their mom, but I am not going to force him. regardless of what she has done, her infidelity is between me and her. my wife was still crying she said she will continue to try to get back with me, but she respects my decision. I contacted my lawyer earlier today to finalize the divorce petition so I can serve her.

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